The Frex Hunters: Reloaded
by Ultimate Queen of Cliffies
Summary: Surprise! :D I can't believe I did this - again. Shoot me now. But yes, Frex is alive again and the Frex Hunters are out to get him once more. What that means? Silly songs, pink pitchforks, dripping heads and a very disturbed me. Oh, joy. Again, if you're not familiar with the Frex Hunters, don't read it - you'll only end up very disturbed.


**AN: Let me just start by saying I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS. But, well, a few of you reviewed The Frex Hunters, saying you'd have loved to take part... so I let you take part. Happy now?**

**Credit for 'Dancing on Graves' goes to Failey, who wrote the _complete lyrics _for the song. I cut some pieces out because otherwise it would get a little _too _long, but most of it is still in here.**

**Oh, and I cut short a few of your names. Though I found it hard to do that with, for example, Musicalvampirelove and Eriphabottackson. GUYS. YOUR NAMES ARE TOO LONG. **

**Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bang my head against a tree because I actually wrote and posted this.**

* * *

'How in _Oz_,' said BlueD, wrinkling her nose in disgust and confusion, 'did he get himself back together?'

I stared down at the empty grave. 'I have no idea.'

Failey blinked. 'BlueD… didn't you take his head with you?'

BlueD nodded, smirking at the memory. 'I did. I didn't eat it, though. I just said that to disgust all of you. I merely used it as a really cool Halloween decoration.'

'Oh, joy,' I muttered under my breath, and my fellow Frex Hunters chuckled.

'Hey!' Musicalvampirelove protested. '_I _wanted to hang his head above my door!' Her eyes got a faraway look and a dreamy smile played around her lips as she imagined that. 'Yes… with the blood still dripping from his neck… oh, I'd have loved that.'

She was one of the latest additions to the Frex Hunters, along with Elphaba-WWW and Eriphabottackson. Even though we hadn't expected to ever have to get together again, we'd welcomed them with open arms. We were still some kind of unofficial club… but none of us had anticipated Frex somehow putting himself back together again. Huh. I didn't really question it, though – this was the realm of fanfiction, after all. Everything was possible here.

And so here we were, all of us – BlueD, Failey, Wicked4Life, Stefy, Ozzie, Silvine, Fae the Queen, Bubble, Elphiesglinda, and now Musicalvampirelove, Elphaba-WWW and Eriphabottackson. And me. We were back in Oz, and we had to re-locate Frex and… re-kill him. Is that a word? No? It is now.

I didn't particularly enjoy being back here in our formal role as the Frex Hunters. The first time had been for the greater good – saving Elphaba. And Elyssah. And Fiyero. And… everyone else. I had been fine with us just getting together and having a party every now and then. If it had been up to me, we'd never have killed anyone else… but now that Frex was on the loose again, what choice did we have?

'If we find him and kill him again, you can have his head,' I offered tiredly and Musicalampirelove's face brightened. 'Really? That's so cool!'

I rolled my eyes. Bubble giggled. 'So… where do we start looking?'

Failey shrugged. 'The Governor's mansion?' It seemed as good a place as any, so we started marching there, with Failey in the lead as she softly sang the March of the Frex Hunters. A few of the others sang along, but then Failey suddenly froze in her tracks as a devilish smile lit up her face. 'I've got another one.' And then she started singing again.

'The trouble with Frex is he's always evil in fanfiction. Believe me, 'cause I've read enough of them to know…'

Eriphabottackson joined her. 'We want him to become less horrid, more… human... But he thinks, 'Why not stay evil?'.'

BlueD sang the next line with a somewhat creepy smirk. 'Let's stop fooling ourselves and have some fun with the body while we can…'

'Why do you always want to do weird things with his body?' I interrupted her, and she gave me an innocent look. 'Why not?'

She and Musicalvampirelove gave each other a high five. I gave myself a facepalm.

Stefy continued the song. 'Dancing on graves, down at the graveyard. Gliding on all the tombstones…'

'Life's more painless,' Bubble chimed in happily. 'For the breathless. You might think it hard, but it's so soothing…'

'Dancing on graves, no need to feel bad. When you can have as much fun as I do!' Musicalvampirelove smirked and they all sang together cheerfully, 'Nothing matters, especially since he is dead – it's just a grave, so keep dancing through…'

'You guys are disturbing,' I declared, but they would have none of that. 'Oh, come on, Maddy,' Fae the Queen whined. 'Sing along! It's fun!'

Failey grinned at me. 'The next part is all yours.'

I rolled my eyes, but sang nonetheless.

'Let's go down to the Wicked Graveyard, we'll meet there later tonight. We can dance 'til it's light… Find Frexspar's grave, dance in a rage. Right on down to the Wicked Graveyard, come on… follow me. You'll be happy to be there…'

Silvine smirked at me. 'Dancing on graves, down at the graveyard – if only because dead is what he became!'

'Nothing matters,' we all sang together, still walking, 'but knowing nothing matters… he's just dead – so it's no big deal!'

'Okay, you're right, this is kind of fun,' I admitted, and Elphiesglinda bounced. 'See?'

'But still disturbing,' I added with a stern glance, and she giggled. 'No it's not!' She cleared her throat. 'Now that we've met one another…'

'It's clear we have mutual feelings!' Elphaba-WWW chirped. 'We're readers!'

'And writers!'

'So we're perfect together!' They wrapped their arms around each other's shoulders and skipped ahead of me. 'Born to be forever dancing on graves!'

I suddenly felt the strong urge to bang my head against a tree.

'Oh my Oz, isn't this wonderful?' Eriphabottackson exclaimed. 'Finally, for this one night, I'm about to have a fun night. With these strange people that I befriended online!'

'We're not strange!' Elphiesglinda protested. I just sighed. 'A fun night? You see murder as fun?' I demanded.

'Yes!' yelled BlueD enthusiastically. Wicked4Life sang happily, 'We killed Frex with our pitchforks! And now he kind of looks like pork-'

'EW!'

She ignored me. 'And we're not sorry!'

'No sir!' interjected Ozzie. 'We deserve this party, 'cause we accomplished our goal! We deserve-'

'We didn't accomplish our goal,' I pointed out. 'He's alive again.'

'Not for long,' said Silvine with a murderous glint in her eyes.

'Maddy, listen,' said Failey. 'Wicked4Life and I were talking about this just now-'

'I am not singing this next part,' I declared, knowing what would be coming next. 'I don't want pink pitchforks. I hate Frex as much as anyone does, but I don't think there's any need for-'

'We thought we should bring this pitchfork to the party tonight!' Wicked4Life grinned at me. 'It's really, uh, sharp, don't you think?'

Failey chimed in. 'It'd be better if it were pink!'

'We deserve to bring it,' they sang together, trying to coax me into singing with them, but I refused flatly. 'Bring this pitchfork, it's a smart plan! We deserve to bring this, so here – we're going to spray-paint it pink!'

'No, you're not.'

Stefy pulled a spray can with pink paint from her bag. 'Yes, we are!' the three of them exulted together, before actually starting to spray-paint the pitchfork pink.

The song was continued until it finished, and Bubble came up next to me, grinning. 'Oh, come on. Admit it, it's fun,' she said teasingly, and I sighed. 'Okay. Maybe a little.'

Fae the Queen pointed ahead of us. 'There's the Governor's mansion!'

We immediately took positions. Eriphabottackson, Fae the Queen, Wicked4Life, BlueD, Bubble, and Silvine went around the back, to prevent him from escaping; Failey, Elphiesglinda, Stefy, Musicalvampirelove, Ozzie, Elphaba-WWW, and me went to the front door, bracing ourselves as Stefy reached out and knocked on the door. There were some sounds inside, and then the door opened, an annoyed face peeking through the opening. 'What-' The eyes widened. 'You!'

'G'day, mate,' said Ozzie with a broad grin in her Australian accent. 'It's time to die!'

'You said that last time,' Bubble pointed out, and Ozzie shrugged. 'I just love that line,' she grinned, and Bubble laughed. 'Yeah, it's pretty awesome,' she admitted.

'Seize him!' yelled Musicalvampirelove and we stormed inside. The others entered the house from the back and soon he was surrounded, Failey pinning him firmly in place with her now-pink pitchfork. 'Silence, creep!'

Fae the Queen casually tossed her toothed knife up in the air, letting it twirl around and catching it again time after time. 'Any last words?'

'Beg!' yelled Silvine murderously and a tiny bit too enthusiastically, if you ask me, as she raised the spiked club she had brought. 'Beg and grovel for your life! Last time you didn't, so I want you to do it now!'

'Can I kill him?' Eriphabottackson begged. 'Please? I want to spill his guts all over the floor!'

Frex had blanched visibly at that and Elphiesglinda laughed. 'I'm fine with that. I'd like to see his guts myself.'

'Yeah, me too,' agreed Ozzie, playing with her axe.

'Go ahead, slice him open, Eriphabottackson!' Stefy encouraged her, and she didn't have to tell her that twice – within the blink of an eye, Eriphabottackson was on top of him. BlueD and Silvine held Frex in place as Eriphabottackson slowly started slicing open his skin.

Fae the Queen lovingly touched her knife. 'You deserve each other, this knife and you…'

'I'm not holding Elphaba hostage!' screeched Frex as he squirmed on the floor. 'I haven't touched her again after you came to kill me!'

'This isn't about Elphaba,' I informed him, leaning on my own axe. He stared at us. 'What is this about, then?'

BlueD shrugged. 'I don't know. We just hate you.'

'And we love to kill,' added Musicalvampirelove. Eriphabottackson finished her cut and started poking around with her knife _inside _of him. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. 'Do you _have _to do that?'

'Beg for your life!' Silvine screeched, hitting him with her spiked club – but only his limbs; she didn't want to kill him right away. I sighed and gave up. 'Why bother?' I muttered, and Stefy grinned at me. 'Wise decision.'

'Please!' Frex finally shouted, squirming on the floor beneath my fellow Frex Hunters. 'Please, spare me! Don't kill me! Please!'

Silvine grinned maliciously and Failey did a little dance. 'That's the way, a-hah a-hah we like it, a-hah a-hah…'

'Please don't murder me!' Frex begged. 'I'd do anything! Spare me! Aaargh!' That last part came out when BlueD stuck her taser inside of him and electrocuted his guts. I made a face. 'You guys certainly are creative.'

'Ooooooeeeeeeaaaaaah!' Failey let out some kind of Tarzan-howl as she came swinging in from the other room on a chandelier. She jumped down at the highest point, hitting Frex in the stomach with all her weight, and she grinned down at him, yelling, 'Let the green girl go!'

Ozzie quirked an eyebrow at her. 'He doesn't have the green girl anymore.'

Failey shrugged. 'I know. I just always wanted to say that.'

'Why didn't you last time?' asked Fae the Queen, puzzled.

Failey looked at her. 'I wanted to, but in that cottage we found him last time there wasn't anything around that I could use as a swing,' she explained, and we all stared at her.

'Hit him too fiercely,' Elphaba-WWW sang, 'choke him too tight! We need to believe that he'll be dead by tonight!'

'My wildest dreamings could not foresee, me hurting him, and him begging me!' Silvine chuckled, and several of them burst out again, 'Just for this moment! As long as he's dead!'

'He's not dead yet,' pointed out Stefy, and the others giggled. 'Well, let's do something about that, then, shall we?' BlueD said innocently, electrocuting his organs again. Yuck.

'We'll go have a party,' Failey continued the song, cheerfully plunging her pitchfork into Frex again and again. 'Because we killed the Frex!'

'And if it turns out it's over too fast…' Ozzie poked a knife in his leg. 'We'll go back and kill him again!'

'As long as he's dead!' we all sang together, and Failey winked at me. 'I feel a new hit song coming.'

I rolled my eyes, but smirked nonetheless.

With all my fellow Frex Hunters crawling over him with their pitchforks, axes, knives, and other weapons, Frex was dead soon enough. They went on, however, and I decided not to mention it – I knew how much they all hated Frex's guts and perhaps if they just went on long enough, this time he _wouldn't _be able to get himself back together again.

When Eriphabottackson started pulling his organs out of his body with her knife, however, spilling them all over the floor, I interfered. 'O-kay, I think we should go.' I was getting a little nauseous.

Wicked4Life pouted. 'No Fiyero to see this time?'

BlueD nudged her. 'What, you want to fangirl again and ask him to marry you once more?'

'I don't blame you,' I muttered, and Wicked4Life grinned at me. 'Well… perhaps next time, then.'

'Who knows,' said Fae the Queen with a knowing smile, as we all went outside and mounted our broomsticks again.

'So… dinner at my place?' asked BlueD innocently, and I eyed the satchel she had with her warily. 'No, thank you.'

Elphiesglinda giggled. 'Oh, come on. We can't just all go home now! We should have a party or something.'

'My place!' yelled Musicalvampirelove. 'I'll take care of everything!'

'No cut off head for dinner,' I pleaded. 'Please?'

She chuckled. 'No, no, I promise you that.'

Fae the Queen looked at me. 'So are you coming?'

I nodded slowly. 'As long as I don't get any body parts on my plate, I'm good.'

Most of my fellow Frex Hunters flew ahead of me, engaging themselves in a competition – whoever would get to Musicalvampirelove's house first would get to pick dessert. As I watched them go, I hoped sincerely that BlueD wouldn't win this race, for I had a pretty good idea of what dessert would be if she did.

Bubble, who had stayed behind with me, chuckled as she read my expression correctly. 'You've really had enough of this, haven't you?'

'It's not that I don't enjoy a good kill every now and then,' I complained. 'But you guys are just…'

'Disturbing?' offered Ozzie, who was flying on my other side, and Bubble grinned at me. 'Overenthusiastic?'

'Creepy?' Ozzie suggested. 'Maniacal?'

'Psycho?'

'Yes, all of that!' I cut them off, and they both laughed.

We landed in Musicalvampirelove's front yard. To my relief, Silvine seemed to have won the race, which meant no Frex heads for dessert… I hoped.

'What did happen to Frex's head this time?' I asked as we moved towards the front door, and Musicalvampirelove smiled innocently at me. 'I took it with me. You promised I could have it, didn't you?'

I rolled my eyes. 'So I did. What did you do with it?'

Her grin broadened. 'You'll see.'

For some reason, that didn't make me feel better.

As I walked through the door, I felt something wet drip onto my head. Frowning, I touched it, expecting a drop of rain or something… but when I brought my fingers back, they were red with blood.

I looked up. Frex's head was hanging above the door, blood dripping down from his neck. I sighed and entered the house, walking into the dining room, where the others had settled already. 'You guys,' I declared tiredly, 'are really, really, _really _disturbing.'

They saw the blood on my head and put the pieces together, and Musicalvampirelove grinned at me. 'Don't you just love my new Halloween decoration?'

'This was such an awesome night,' declared Elphaba-WWW, and BlueD cheerfully agreed with her. 'I've always enjoyed a good slaughter every now and then.'

I slumped down in a chair, shaking my head, but unable to keep a smile from my face. 'You guys are _such _a bunch of creeps.'

They all chuckled at that and Failey patted my hand, a large grin on her face. 'We love you, too.'


End file.
